A friend living in Dubai told me about the concept of ‘cloud-seeding’ used in the UAE. This is another heady concept adopted by the Emirs to address their lack of fresh water, by which rain clouds are artificially created by specially adapted planes spraying specific chemicals at altitude. Amazingly, the project has been a success, even resulting in some of the Gulf’s worst floods in recent years, albeit at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars per flight. So that answers the question as to whether you can create rain. However, conversely, how do you stop rain, even if only long enough to squeeze in a quick game of Sunday cricket? Answer: save your petrodollars and just wheel out Patrick with a heady mix of grit, stubbornness and a frank refusal to look facts in the face. It works a treat.
Sunday saw our annual match against Blackheath, Surrey, local ground for your scribe and the erstwhile Pecker Ed Behn / Big Dutch / Turncoat, more of which later. The forecast was abysmal, and the rain pretty much lived up to its billing. We did, however, start on time against Blackheath’s blend of seniority, 1st teamers, one Turncoat and two very young youngsters. Last to arrive was Henners, fresh from a hospital appointment to check the latest imminent Pecker’s 12-week scan. Huge congratulations from all Peckers to Henners and Sam on this fantastic news. We were wonderfully supported on the boundary by the Spinach clan, numerous Gowars (with Horse and Zebra offspring looking good in the nets) and the local Puglets and Puglettas.
L-R -Greasy(+ Hoover), Pirate, Pob, Groundskeeper Smigel, Pug, Horse, Zebra, Otto. Middle Order- Spinach, Meakers/Peaches, Henners/H-Bomb Front Row - Freddie Boom-Boom, Hazza and Happy Jack
We were put into the field in a 30 over game, reduced in an effort to beat the weather. Spinach opened the bowling up the hill in front of the family and bowled a super spell (3-15 off 5), castling one opener third ball with a leg-cutter. He also accounted for the other opener with a very slow slower ball, and went on to bowl No.3 Lewis to leave Blackheath three down for not very many (scorebook lacking the details). Motty opened downhill alongside Spinach and was luckless in his tight spell (apart from the occasional audible “Oh FFS” as he sprayed one down leg past the flailing Pirate). Pirate had a tricky job to do given the conditions and variable bowling, but his teammates ribbed him mercilessly nonetheless as he gradually got the hang of taking the ball cleanly.
Vickers (a cricket coach at the local RGS) was in good nick at 4 and launched Pug’s first ball into the pine trees. The Turncoat came in at No.5 and also started brightly against Pug (in his first appearance of the season, very much a Blackheath Specialist ™) and Groundskeeper Willy. However, unfortunately for Turncoat but fortunately for Pug, he mistimed a pull at another long-hop and Henners took a good running catch at mid-on. The Turncoat turned and got his coat (it was now spitting again). Skipper Ronny Harrison, meanwhile, took a liking to our bowling, and to Meakers’ dibbly-dobblers in particular. After an expensive start, Meakers got his man when he floated a rank full toss and Ronny was aghast as he smacked it straight at Pug in the covers who somehow held on. With Ronny gone for an admirable 39 and Vickers bowled by a Groundskeeper pearler for 30, Blackheath were struggling to post a defendable total.
At the 15 over mark, the heavens opened again and both sides took shelter. The covers went on (at POB’s insistence) and it rained. And kept raining. It was still only about 3.30 pm but the home team were keen to call it quits at this point and tried to convince Patrick, who was by now resorting to hiding from Ronny behind a tree to avoid any such decision. Nick Harrison, Blackheath’s Chairman, manfully took to soaking up the water off the ground covers and was as keen as POB to complete the game. When the clouds did part, momentarily, Nick and Patrick agreed that if it did stop raining for the next 30 mins, play could resume. The forecast was now showing 90% chance of rain, prospects were bleak and there was a certain amount of grumbling on both sides about the wisdom of persevering. The forecast was poor all day, but what kept me going was the Rainfall Radar on the Met Office App showed only showed sporadic rain
Blackheath Chairman Nick Harrison doing a great job with the big Mopper
However, such is Patrick’s doggedness and good fortune, the rain held off, all players helped remove the covers and play thankfully resumed (albeit reduced to 25 overs per side). Several players from both sides had to change back into their whites, assuming common sense would have prevailed - but no, not on Patrick’s watch.
Next man in for Blackheath was 12-year old Chug (son of Pug) (another turncoat in fact, but we’ll go easy on him and pick on Big Dutch instead). Chug has thankfully been taught to bat by coaches other than his father, and played with admirable patience and timing, and finished with 27 n.o.
What started as generous off-spin from the likes of Horse and Greasy was gradually cranked up a gear, and by the end his father, for one, was genuinely trying to get him out. Blackheath walked off with 147 off their 25 overs.
In the absence of any match tea and an eagerness to beat the forecast return of the rain, our opening pair of Horse and Greasy headed out in light drizzle. Horse didn’t trouble the scorers for long, neither did the Pirate at 3. Greasy played well for his 25, including an admirable run 4 that almost finished off the poor Pirate. Henners played in usual fashion and dispatched his first few deliveries into the pine trees on the long square leg boundary (with short-pitched and full deliveries treated in identical fashion). However, perhaps distracted by the enormity of impending fatherhood, he nicked off for 22, and it was game on. I have been playing for the Peckers since 2004 and I know a Peckers collapse when I see one, and this was definitely a Peckers collapse. Both Zebra (brother of Horse and another local) and POB fell cheaply to Sam Behn (aka Samsterdam). Like Chug, he is also just 12 years old and he floated his leggies bravely to take 3-18 off 4. Given he usually bowls off 18 yards with a smaller ball (and one that doesn’t need toweling down after each delivery), this was super stuff.
Amongst this familiar collapse, however, was Meakers, another Blackheath Specialist ™ who provided fantastic control and kept the run-rate ticking over. He launched a magnificent six over long-on, something he later claimed to have never done before. Life in the old dog yet. However, he was running out of partners as Spinach also fell LBW to young Samsterdam (triggered by a giggling Henners who offered no apology), Motty was stumped off Chairman Nick and Groundskeeper was out so quickly that Pug, at 11, was still putting his spikes back on as Groundskeeper trudged off. All this time the rain steadily fell, but there was no sign of anyone wanting to come off. A steady rota of Peckers took their turn to umpire in the rain, each one armed with a pint of Hog’s Back TEA to lift the gloom.
Pug and Meakers, who have been pals since heady days of Bristol Uni in the mid-90s, clearly enjoyed being in the middle again together. By now, the ball was soaking wet, as were the fielders, and Meakers looked like he had fallen into a lake. The score stood at 112-9. The Blackheath Specialists ™ went about knocking off the required 36 runs with a mix of madcap singles and lusty blows, and gleefully reached their target with an over to spare. Meakers, who batted superbly in his first game for two years, finished on 44 n.o. and Pug walked off in front of the family with 17 n.o. to his name. I was lucky to watch the incredible finish next to Ella Pugh, Meakers’s god-daughter and also a very keen cricketer
Soggy handshakes all round, and a quick decamp to the temporary marquee outside the pavilion where more pints were happily shared with the oppo, even with Turncoat.
MOM shared between Meakers for his knock and POB for ensuring the game went ahead at all. Marvellous efforts from both.
Blackheath 147 off 25 overs, Woodpeckers 148-9 off 24 overs.
Our real heroes Pug and Meakers who put on 38 for the final wicket and pulled off a miraculous win