"You can't win anything with kids" Would Alan Hansen's infamous 1995 statement be proved correct?

With an average age of 29.5** the Peckers descended on The Bell in picturesque Outwood to hydrate before taking the field in searing temperatures - very reminiscent of the scorcher that was Barnes Common 2020. After hearing the all too predictable news that the Peckers would be fielding first, the team dragged themselves to middle armed with a plethora of right arm medium pacers and not a cloud in sight. I lost the toss kindly!

Badger arrives at Bell, half ready for duty

Spinach started quickly, finding the edge with the first ball of the match, a tough chance which evaded Badger's paw at first slip. Three balls later however Spinach snaffled the first of his two Crawford victims LBW. He followed this up with the second Crawford in the fifth over, another LBW, leaving Outwood 16/2. Motty kept things tight from the other end which was quite a feat on a pitch that was giving no help at all to the bowlers. However, as the first much needed drinks break crawled closer, the second of three father-son combinations in the Outwood line-up (the Cleavers) started to put the pressure on the tiring Peckers and put on 62 runs together.

Greasy and Cat were brought in to give the openers a well-earned break and it was this change that broke the Cleaver father-son partnership. Greasy bowled Cleaver Jnr for 23, a well-deserved wicket, whilst at the other end Cat took a nasty glancing blow to the head which left an imprint of the seam on his forehead! Cat nodded it beautifully over the bar, and It almost reached me at mid-off!

Greasy's tight line and length brought another wicket with Dill taking the catch. A special mention to Cat here for bowling an 8 over spell in the 30+ degrees - fantastic effort. Only went for 23 runs too, most economical Cat

As it is Sunday cricket, POB thought it best to give wicketkeeper Lamby a bowl, with Badger taking the gloves. Another successful bowling change at both ends with Butternut dismissing Baldry LBW for 18 before Lamby finally removed Cleaver Snr for 67, Dill with his second catch, leaving Outwood at 147/6.

Unfortunately, the heat had taken its toll on Peckers and things unravelled slightly, a quickfire 43 off 22 balls and a 37 off 14 from Outwood's 6th and 7th batsmen left the Peckers looking at a chase of 241.

Shade was sought for hopefully the final BYOTea of the season and we could finally enjoy the setting of this wonderful cricket pitch surrounded by National Trust woodland away from the scorching sun. As Macca and Badger made their way out to the middle the clouds arrived, if only POB has checked the forecast like ??? . Macca left, defended, played and missed the first over against Outwood's 1s bowler whereas Badger at the other end started rapidly, hitting his first 3 balls for four to really emphasise the gulf in talent between the opening bats. If the first over faced by Macca was sketchy the second and third were an even more painful watch, he was finally bowled on his 20th ball for a duck. In strode Cat to try and continue 2021 as being his year with the bat and things started brightly with the two mammals reaching pushing the team's total up to 50 without much danger.

L-R from back Dill, Spinach, Pobsy, Greasy, Otto, Lamby, Badher, Cat, Butternut, Macca, Jockie

On came Gareth , a South African ringer wheeled in for the day who gave hardly anything away and after his spell of 5-1-4-2 had bowled Badger for 40 and Cat for 15. Another fine innings from Badger who when he doesn't get a duck seems to always contribute a decent amount - feast or famine! As has been the case this year a Covid dropout from Groundskeeper Willy left POB scrabbling around for another player (preferably a batsmen), and Spinach delivered by providing Jocky on debut, who was supposed to be a keen supporter only. Coming in with Lamby, Jocky lasted only 3 balls before being caught for nought (number 2 for the innings - keep counting...) Lamby and Dill stuck around admirably, keeping the scoreboard ticking over with quick singles, interspersed with the odd boundary which was impressive given the still sweltering heat. However, it was to be their downfall as Lamby was run out coming back for a rather suicidal second for 18. After Dill was caught for 10 Greasy and Otty came together for a brief but entertaining partnership with plenty of swinging.

Dramatic overheating can also lead to heatstroke, symptoms of which progress from confusion and irritability to hallucinations. This can be the only explanation to what Otto did next. Having hit the ball directly in the air, Otto wandered directly underneath it as keeper and bowler converged. "I thought I was the fielder trying to catch it!" he exclaimed as the ball harmlessly dropped in the middle of the square. Acknowledging he had obstructed the fielders he started to walk off before being called back by the Outwood skipper.

After Greasy was caught for 8, out the skipper strides, the "experienced" head, declaring that we only needed to go at 14 an over. Back he went the next ball (duck number 3), the heads fell and the inevitable happened. First, Spinach was caught for the Peckers fourth duck of innings, even with some generous umpiring from square leg saving him from two stumpings. Then, to round things off nicely Butternut was bowled for the final wicket and fifth Peckers duck. A defeat of 100 runs.

Before the match Spinach couldn't contain his excitement that he had directly provided 7 Peckers (Badger, Butternut Lamby, Dill, Macca, Jocky on debut and Spinach himself), so much so he threatened a coups d’état. Thankfully for POB, four of them failed to trouble the scorers.

A hugely deserved win for Outwood who had just the right combination of youth and experience! This was a brilliant performance by Outwood with bat, ball and their fielding was faultless. They were due a win against us and delivered it in some style -Well Played! Pecker Season Form Figures now read WWWLLLWWWL…let’s hope to break the pattern at Kew kindly.

Outwood 241-7 beat Woodpeckers 127 by 114 runs Badger 40, Greasy 2-27