Match report (Australian edition) by Alex Jay

There was a strong antipodean flavour to the Woodpeckers for the new fixture at Ham and Petersham. The skipper POBs wanted to inject a ruthless edge to his Pecker outfit and recalled a trusted trio of senior Australians to intimidate the new oppo. The chef aka meals on wheels, AJ and Tiddles were all brought back in after absences of 20years, 6 years and nine months respectively. Pob also hammered on the door of Smeagol’s boat to awake him as a last minute replacement for the stricken Traaash. This was the 1st of many medical issues to arise, most aptly on a Doctor’s return Another new face debutant Nick aka keg o’Martini courtesy of cousin David, made an excellent early impression being the first to the New Inn for a pre game lager.

Ham and Petersham looked to be a classic London fixture located in the heart of Richmond with the pitch and oval merging with the common meaning plenty of casual spectators were able to enjoy the game as they walked dogs on the beautiful spring afternoon. The fixture also proved an ideal opportunity for Peckerettes and Peckerinos to watch and there were several notable appearances including Pecker stalwart Windy and family making warmly received appearance. Cyoungy, Lucy and baby Luca(on debuts), Avocado leading a fine Spinach support band, and a large Otto-clan

Spinach, Avocado, and Dr Robyn Jay in the light blue shirt

I can’t recall whether there was a coin toss or some sort of arrangement but in any case the Peckers were in the field and we were playing a 40 over a side game.Tiddles bowled economically with the new rock that coincidently had been purchased by the skipper for 13 pounds reduced from 50 from the Liverpool cricket association. In the end it was an excellent example of line and length bowling appropriately rewarded with figures of 2-26.

Spinach started less economically with a procession of byes. He was unlucky when one was edged through the slip cordon and didn’t go to hand. Sensing an opportunity Cousin David attempted to throw down the stumps succeeding only in winging the retreating keeper Molely in the back with a wayward throw in what can only be described as village. Following the 1st Spinach was threatened with an early rest by skip , quickly found his rhythm and pace and came back strongly with 2 wickets in his second over finishing with figures of 3-13 in an impressive spell.

Groundskeeper replaced Tiddles and like his predecessor worked into his spell superbly and out of all the Pecker bowlers probably exploited the green top deck the best with several deliveries rearing off a good length with a number of plays and misses. During his spell there was an excellent piece of fielding by Henners with first, a sliding save at deep point and then culminating in a powerful flat throw from the boundary for a runout. Excellent piece of fielding.

The chef or “meals on wheels” back from a long hiatus looked sharp in his first over sending several balls pinging off the deck; until in his second over it was his hamstring that went ping. The Chef courageously finished the over bowling off spin but unfortunately his day was over, and a shoeless Dill the Dog was on hand to sub field at slip.

Olly Mott bowled well up the hill and was miserly giving up only 14 runs in his five over spell. In a clever piece of game management Olly set up their number 7 with a sucker ball that Tiddles snaffled diving low at square leg.

The spinners bowled well in tandem and, to continue with the Australian analogies, evoked memories of the late Shane Warne aka “earl of twirl” and Tim May “Sheik of tweak” during the 1993 Ashes tour. Henners bowled with loop and drift without much assistance from the wicket and finished well with 1-21 from his five claiming the key wicket of their South African import for 73. Cousin bowled several hissing leg breaks that threatened and was unlucky to finish wicket less for 22 runs of his three overs.When the forty overs were done Ham and Petersham were 8/174 in a good bowling and fielding display by the Peckers.

back -Caramel, Tictac, Avocado, Smeagol, Kegger Martini, Chef, AJ, Brienna
front -Tiddles, Moley, Pob, H-Bomb, Spinach, Otto, Harry

Tea was served in a small change room at the north of the common. It was a good spread with plenty of variety. Moleman in a genius move went for the pre tea covert chunder in the outfield to make some extra space for more chocolate biscuits. Several other Peckers despite having existing “gastro” issues opted for the chicken with the extra hot sauce. It was a gamble that was eventually to pay off but could have just as easily proven costly.

Martini opened with his old chum Cousin David who proudly strode to wicket with two different brands of pads on each leg and sunglasses with no hat. This rock star move clearly rattled the opening bowlers as he administered a series of well timed horizontal bat shots taking full advantage of the short boundaries and fast outfield. Eventually both succumbed with Cousin caught from an excellent diving catch for an entertaining 16. Martini was yorked by the opening bowler who at this point had reverted to pace for a stylish 20 -all in 4s

Henners came to the wicket at 2/35 and had just witnessed AJ charge past one from the other end for a golden duck. This brought Moleman out and the pair set about shifting the momentum back into the Peckers favour. Henners batted with poise and power hitting several sixes and demoralising a procession of opposition bowlers. It was an innings typified by class cricket shots that were hit threw and not across the line. Eventually he was dismissed for 79 but he had completely swung the pendulum back to the Woodpeckers favour and the game was essentially over

Henners comes back after 70 off 35…Smeagol has clearly forgotten the precious

Henners was well supported by Moleman who also played an innings of class, competent off the front and back foot and deserved his average boosting 52 not out. The Woodpeckers chased down 174 with 4 wickets down and 22 overs to spare. It was a convincing victory but an entertaining game and the teams shook hands a before heading to the New Inn for a pint. https://woodpeckers.play-cricket.com/website/results/5373211

In what was a strange business decision the New Inn elected to close at 8PM at the height of festivities. We did buy the oppo some Ales as they were clearly still shell-shocked from the Henners barrage

Unperturbed the remaining Peckers (Captain POB, AJ, groundskeeper and Tiddles) boarded a crowded Richmond bus ‘en route to greener pastures. On the bus it became quickly evident that captains POBs goal was to talk to every passenger in as many broken languages as possible. A goal he almost succeeded in achieving. No language or cultural custom was spared as he launched into conversations and hand gestures in Hindi, German and at one point the skipper even had a crack at Caribbean English or Creole to an extremely understanding woman who had just finished her retail shift.

The Peckers had drink at a second pub before deciding that the Cricketers Arms nestled in a beautiful part of Richmond might have a better vibe. On entering the Cricketer’s arms the Peckers stumbled upon the final stages of pub quiz night. In another antipodean coincidence the song in question was the great 90s Australian grunge anthem “Pure massacre” from Silverchair. The Peckers, well refreshed at this point, elected to answer the question whilst not actually being in the quiz..we chose wisely to retreat outside and then onto the final pub next door the Prince’s head .At some point between the first and second makers mark whiskies my cricket bag was noticed to be missing.. I ran back to pub 2 but it wasn’t there. We assumed all was lost but as we emerged from the Prince’s Head, The quiz master/barmen emerged from the Cricketers with my bag. It was a great relief and end to a fabulous Peckers return!