April and its infamous showers had washed out both Ripley and Sanderstead from our salubrious fixture list but had failed to extinguish the cricketing fervour ignited at this year’s wonderful Peckers dinner.

May, however, brought better fortune; drier climes and a bank holiday that kindly offered the perfect opportunity to rearrange this year’s fixture with Ripley. Ripley vs Peckers evokes something within the cricketing Gods, each year a thriller better than the last.

As the Peckers amassed under the pavilion balcony, there was a palpable melange of excitement, anticipation, and trepidation as an eight-month cricketing hiatus was finally to be broken. As Pobsy frogmarched to the square to conduct the toss, goats cheese tarts provided by GK and a hoppy carbonated beverage was self-prescribed by several to numb the nerves and memories of a rather disastrous display in Battersea Park’s nets just days before. One Stella Artois, however, is not nearly enough to quell the anguish caused by being inserted on a damp wicket, made worse by the fact that Merry was still somewhere down the A3.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Pobsy sent the Cat first into firing line along with the more orthodoxly found Kwakka (Cat told me about a dozen times at nets that he wanted to open. And as his average as an opener was about 40 better than not, the statto inside me had to give it another shot) The pair got underway relatively quickly, with the Cat using a few of his nine lives, being put down twice. As the rain began to fall, so did Kwakka’s wicket, a good ball breaching his defences would be the last action before running for the pavilion.

When the rain abated, and the game recommenced. Mole joined Cat, (words more likely found in a children’s novel than a cricket match report) and the pair settled well. Another downpour caused further delay, leaving the wicket unpredictable and the outfield apathetic. The Pecker of the year was playing with his usual elegance whilst the Cat was looking somewhat more agricultural at the other end. (Cat does himself a disservice as played confidently from the outset)

With the Peckers on 69-1, the Cat missed a straight one, departing for a hard fought 40 and was replaced by the man he had replaced up the order, Merry.

Merry was soon dislodged and Traash took to the field. The Mole was soon to follow, done by the unpredictable damp wicket on 31. Greasy joined Traash, but he too was quickly given his marching orders.

The cursory Peckers collapse appeared to be underway, but the pair played with aggression, countering the bowlers whose tail appeared to be up. (At this point Cat announced that the Peckers had never won when he’d scored runs) Every Pecker to this point bowled, but Groundskeeper and Traash broke the mould, both going to stunning catches from the keeper and extra cover respectively. The tail wagged, with Pobsy, Spinach and Chef supported an inspired Tiddles, who made 13* as the final 3 wickets went for 28. The Green and Gold contingent of the tail Tiddles and Chef making an 18 run last stand. Bar the early reprieves for Cat, Ripley’s fielding was impeccable and restricted the Peckers to 148.

Both sides headed for tea with the sense that they were in the ascendency. The first match tea of the season was not up to the usual excellent Ripley standards, an assortment of arid meat and pastry goods, served at fridge temperature for added affliction. The greatest mortification, however, delivered by the chasmic absence of the bastion of the match tea, the ever-dependable sandwich. Further sparkling barley products were enjoyed as a welcome to distraction.

Sun and the Peckers back out, Spinach delivered a stunning first over maiden and set the tone as Tiddles too found his rhythm with apparent ease, striking in his first over. The opening pair looked like they had never been away, frustrating the opposition with frugal spells. The Cat’s long lost feline agility continued to evade him as a one-handed leap in the slips failed to stick and reward Spinach for his efforts. Tiddles’ second left the score reading 30-2 off 14 overs. Drinks came and brought with them the 3rd Ripley wicket at the hand of Traash. A double run out from a riled Greasy and a freshly repositioned GK, followed quickly by a crater creating catch from Cat diving forward in the same over left the Peckers in dreamland (as the ball looped between us I shouted ‘YOURS’ loudly sensing I would come off second best in a collision) ; 55-6 off 23 overs. Things were going uncharacteristically well, and the introduction of Ripley’s overseas Aussie pro and skipper brought about a seismic shift in the landscape of the game. 55 became over 100 in the blink of an eye, or 5 overs in cricketing terms.

Groundskeeper entered the attack, but despite Groundkeeper’s tidy bowling and another wicket, Ripley continued to find runs. Pink launched a Cat delivery skywards, and when the ball fell from the clouds, it was our skipper scurrying beneath it. As his path and the ball’s intersected, there was a dull thud as the ball cannoned off his cranium and over the rope for more valuable Ripley runs. A bullet header Erling Haaland would have been proud of. Despite a nasty red lump springing from his temple, Pobsy, recognising the gravitas of the situation, soldiered on.

Myrtle was delighted to be back at the Peckers

The Peckers needed one moment of brilliance to rule them all, to cast the Ripley counter offensive back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. This moment abandoned the Peckers, but then something happened that fate did not intend. The ball was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A hobbit, Merry, of the shire.

Merry, on the boundary with just one stump in his sights, launched the ball with razor sharp precision. Direct hit. The Aussie gun stomped off angrily for a destructive 27, but this felt like the turning point in what had a become a nail-biting duel.

Ripley Skipper Tom Clover kept up the Ripley chase until a noise was heard as the ball passed the bat and sailed into the Moleman’s gloves, sparking ecstasy. Bat and ground? Bat and ball? The tension clearly weighed heavy as Tom ’not in Clover’ decided to lambast the Cat for a vociferous appeal…

Intensity heightened further as an uncharacteristically costly over from GK suddenly left Ripley needing just 8 runs off the final over. With the climax approaching, many in the clubhouse couldn’t bear to watch, many others couldn’t bear not to.

Captain Posby made the bold decision to give the ball to the Cat, who had not been at his best. The Cat dangled the ball short of length outside off stump, forcing the batsmen to run high risk singles. One ball to go and a game of ebb and flow was at its crescendo, a maximum would win it for Ripley, a 4 would see the honours shared. Pobsy’s faith rewarded as the final ball was skewed harmlessly into the leg side for a single. Victory!

Despite making hard work of it, and a spirited comeback from a determined Ripley, the Peckers were just about able to hold on, winning by 3 runs. A glorious, welcomed return to village cricket and another ripper against Ripley to set off the 2023 campaign. A brilliant team effort with joint MOM The Cat for 40, and a great death over, and another Cat Tiddles for a glorious Opening Spell and the most ‘correct’ innings I’ve ever seen from him

Next up, the Hampshire tour at Greasy’s pub for the Coronation weekender. Come reign, rain or shine, Peckers up.