On Sunday 19th May the Peckers returned to Dunsfold, one of the jewels’ in the crown of our season.

*The glorious Sun Inn at Dunsfold Common.*

With our Dear Leader pursuing diplomatic relations in Barcelona with the help of Matron and Cheffrey, it was left to some trusted lieutenants to wouse a wowdy wabble, and waise we did.

Alas, we were looking very short. A rabble of just eight lined up in the WhatsApp group on Wednesday, A wicketkeeper/batsman and a mystery bowler or two short. As we know, the mystery bowler is well rewarded at Dunsfold. Short of boundary and spongy of wicket, batsmen strain and flail here like nowhere else. Once you take into account the tantalisingly delicious local beer and lush garden at the visibly adjacent Sun Inn, this really is the perfect spot for a doosra wielding part-timer.

The first of the three heroes came forth on Wednesday afternoon. Adrian ‘The Dunsfold Specialist’ Potter is feared locally since spearheading a Peckers team to glory at the inaugural Dunsfold six a side championship some moons ago. We had our mystery bowler.

The second and third heroes both stepped forward from the Coates household. Reigning pecker of the year Muttley offered his willow and paws, as well as the support of his step-daughter Ellie, who recently debuted for Yateley u16’s. Coatesy promised us we had our second mystery bowler.

So a typically assorted confusion of Peckers descended on the Surrey Hills in glorious sunshine. By the time I’d fetched Levers for the last leg of an epic Shropshire commute there were already a handful of Peckers and Peckerettes enjoying the roast beef baguettes and ales at the Sun. Sadly we didn’t grow in numbers between then and the toss 35 minutes later, so it was lucky that I lost the toss and got inserted.

After a very wet spring the wicket was spongier than ever but was drying quickly. Although 130 looked like a competitive target to aim for, we knew their experienced opening bowling unit had 250+ wickets here between them, so it would be a sweaty morning’s work.

They may have been the only recognised batsmen present but first to the pub Kamikaze and his first branch Levers were the obvious opening pairing. They looked comfortable against some tidy opening bowling. Unfortunately for Kamikaze he decided to make a suicidal crash on a target and ran a single so quick that cover had time to throw it slowly to the wrong end and then back again and was still out by several yards. In his defence he did absolutely smoke it at said cover fielder who’s dive, pick up and throw was one of the moments of the match.

Pirate joined Levers in the middle but struggled for his ‘Porto form’ and fell to a one that was “slower than slow”. “No patience for that”, he added.

At 14-2 and POTY Muttley still en route the leadership unit was start to sweat more than a Prince on an island. They needn’t have worried, as our talented and swashbuckling middle order of Cat and Groundskeeper were padded up and in much better shape than last year.

Felix was looking very fluid and played beautifully for his 22. Levers, looking every part the opening bat, was watchful and fluently moving towards jug territory. Things were starting to look up.

By the time the Cat played round a skinker from McCullen, Coatesy and Ellie had arrived from supporting Mrs C at a fun run and he was thrust into action. His battle with The Curse could begin! This first round was quite frustrating to watch, as he struggled for timing and fluency. You don’t become POTY without resilience and eventually a few shots landed. In the end he would be first of Fred Vorster’s (no relation) six wickets, missing one that kept a little low and slow.

Levers was joined by GKW who looked very determined and had a very healthy looking Myrtle looking on. We were all delighted that Myrtle could join us. She’s a real Pecker stalwart and had a terrible accident over the winter, from which she’s made a miraculous recovery. Daddy B didn’t let her down and he added a quick and very useful 26 to our total.

Levers had been working away like a pro at the other end, watching a procession of Peckers at the other. He had ended his fantastic knock just one shy of his maiden half century. Would that prove to be a match winning innings?

*The only action shot we remembered to take of Leverrrrs’ magnificent jug avoiding 49.*

Woodpeckers 146-9 from 35 overs.

~

Tea. Always a great tea at Dunsfold, where they do things properly. Piles of homemade sangers covering all the major food groups are merely a prelude to the cake table. Cake of the day this season was a multi-tiered coffee and walnut cake situation. Several Peckers were seen taking tips from the cook. One of the best teas on the circuit. You love to see it.

Spinach was handed the new ball to kick things off from his beloved Pub End, with Avocado and a throng of other wags and wabble cheering him on (or maybe the football, it was hard to tell). Lizzie was unlucky not to take a couple in his first over which he sent down with increasing venom and ale-y guffs. Otto clearly had some of the luck when his first ball hit something (not the seam) on a length and darted back into Max Cooke’s leg stump.

Spinach soon joined the party snaffling the wonderfully named Bric Tyson and at 7-2 the Peckers were looking good. Doughty defense followed and the Spin-Otto pair couldn’t get another breakthrough. On a sticky day and a stickier wicket different, more surprising options were needed.

Bowling doesn’t get more surprising for captains, batters and passing swallows alike than Butternut at one end and Potty at t’other. An assortment that would have made Stormy Daniels blush was sent down, around and straight up in the air.

It is said that a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters would eventually write the greatest novel known to man. Butternut’s first over rather brought this hackneyed idiom to life, and was so long that he did eventually bowl an unplayable jaffa, removing Matt Berry (no relation) with the 10th ball of his over. There was much rejoicing. The second over was similar in quality and quantity but no magnus opus was forthcoming this time.

At the other end, the Dunsfold Specialist was weaving his web of sin, with an extreme looking in-out 3/7 legside field. A couple of tempting beamers, obviously, but then - woosh! One that pitched close enough to tickle Whitney’s (no relation) bottom edge and a swooping Muttley pounced low to his right for a marvellous catch. McCullen, dazed and confused from his own barrage of beamers skied one into a wilting Spinach at mid off and 35-2 had quickly become 38-5.

Butternut, at the Racetrack End, had settled into a rhythm - the next three overs gave us a glimpse of the quality seam bowling of which we know Butternut is capable. Let’s hope there are no more monkeys next time. Time was passing though and a partnership was forming, and that frothy post-match ale wasn’t going to drink itself. Before I could wave my arms at him a second time Groundskeeper was marking his run up with glee. Immediately fast and accurate Myrtle’s Dad quickly removed the dangerman Paterson for 20 with a very good caught & bowled.

Potter wasn’t finished and although bowling to a middle order littered with seasoned Dunsfold pros (several can boast 1000+ runs for the club) he took wickets in his fourth and then fifth over and was on for his maiden Michelle. One more bonus over was offered to see if he could get over the line. Achingly close on a couple of occasions, Peterson (no relation) was up to the task and frustrated our dear specialist once again. After a wonderful spell he was hauled off as we had a 16 year old debutant waiting in the wings…

Peckers nicknames are a curious thing. No real rules exist, certainly no written down, and they arrive in a variety of ways. With Ellie, it took three or four balls for about half of the team to realise what they were seeing in the bowling action and we all arrived at the same conclusion. A longish, urgent but stopping run up, not much of a leap - more fluid than that, out of the back of the hand quite unconventionally and high, slow looping arc finishing in a subtle leg break. Flummoxed batsmen. Yes! It was like watching the Baron at work! And so “The Baroness” was born. We enjoyed two well managed overs from the batsmen but alas the Baroness finished wicketless as bloody Felix ruined it all by getting the last wicket at the other end. Typical.

Dunsfold 94 all out.

Woodpeckers win by 52 runs.

Both teams repaired with satisfying, wordless efficiency to the Sun for jugs of frothy local ale and a tray of leftover roast potatoes and Yorkshire pud so generous that you suspect they cook extra just for us, it certainly feels like they like us visiting.