A truly glorious setting in the ancient deer hunting grounds of Bushy Park greeted the Peckers, arriving by various modes of transport, for a 35 over game starting at 1.30. In the absence of POBsy, the captaincy fell to H-Bomb Henners, who conducted himself impeccably during the day, making sure everybody got a game. He indulged the opposition request to field 12 against our 10, and Spinach would later complete the numbers after arriving by lime bike directly from Macca’s stag do…that’s dedication to the cause.
POBSy is expected back next week after accompanying Degsy on an adult filming assignment in Athens . His role in the production was unclear, but was the subject of much speculation and hopes were high that it could inspire the long awaited sequel to the Full Elton. Teddington CC were hosting a school Colts tournament on the first 11 pitch, so we were on the one next door, and by the time of our arrival the deer in the surrounding woods had been alerted to potential danger by the throng of proud parents who had already reached fever pitch in their vociferous support, fuelled by spicy pakoras and samosas and lashings of chai. This correspondent was secretly considering defecting and “mingling in” to secure something edible after some pretty lacklustre teas on the circuit. He needn’t have worried….
We would be in the field, on the hottest day of the year, under a midday sun- the mad dogs were no where to be seen. The new cherry from Huddersfield was thrown to Trash and Snax, who both toiled in the heat, with Trash putting everything into it, closing down one end only to witness the pressure being relieved at the other with the Teddington openers looking to get the rate going, leading to a straightforward catch by Henners at mid wicket off the worst ball of Snax’s spell. It had pitched half way down the track, and had all the fielders looking in the direction of Richmond to see where it might eventually fall before it had even been hit. Snax added to the wickets column with a more traditional caught behind by stand in keeper Muttley, who brought along his teenage daughter Baroness to make up the numbers. Chef relieved Snax at the Eiger end (named due to the steep uphill incline into the wicket) and soon found a lovely line and length, also bagging two wickets. The highlight was a lovely bowled, that deceived the batsmen in flight as he tossed it up. Chef is currently regarded as the biggest tosser in the club, in the absence of Runky, a well known tosser for over 7 decades. After 6 gruelling overs, Trash had truly wilted like the Liz Truss lettuce, but Teddington never really got out of the blocks, although opener Anderson held the innings together with a well constructed 47.
At 131-7, we took the foot off the gas and introduced the occasional bowling of Merry and Moleman, who provided much amusement to their schoolboy friends in the outer. In a cricketing first, the usual suspects (Felix and Trash) demanded that the league circuit umpire call Moleman for chucking. To everyone’s disappointment, they both bowled a number of recognised deliveries amongst the buffet, which yielded further wickets as the tail was exposed. Merry was delighted with his brace, having to bowl to his restricted field after hearing Trash exclaim “i’m not catching one off your bowling”. This would be the only evidence that Trash was still conscious for the rest of the day, and, by comparison, a mannequin looked more lively in the field. Johnny’Captain Haddock’ the Barnes Common captain, had been recruited by Henners to boost our numbers. He too took two lovely wickets, perhaps bowling the tidiest spell of the day for the Peckers. Baroness entered the attack, whose lovely loop reminiscent of the Baron inspired her nickname, and father Muttley had to be on his toes behind the stumps to read the flight. Spinach came on to bowl, impersonating a leg spinner with the talent of the Australian breakdancing champion, but it took a run out to end the inning when temperatures must have been over 30 degrees. Teddington had posted 187 with 3 overs unused.
Tea was taken in a modern utilitarian clubhouse, replete with bar and seating for spectators. that extended to a full catering kitchen. The chef, a lovely man from Porto, had thankfully not linked us to the carnage that was locally reported in the press at the time by our presence in the city in April. He produced the best tea of the year, albeit in a deconstructed fashion- think bread rolls with individual butter sachets, reams of thinly sliced meats, cheeses, and quiches, and green salads. He had done his homework and the scones were served in the Cornish way, cream over jam. Everybody filled their bellies, except Trash, who sucked on several ice lollies in a prone position,
Muttley and Merry strode out to the middle and the feeling in the team was that we had allowed Teddington to reach respectability, but that we would have enough in the tank to continue the upswing following the victory at Marlow. That quiet confidence led to Chefrey buying a jug at the resumption, honouring a bet he had made earlier if Merry had got a wicket, which indeed he had. Henners had observed this manoeuvre, and noted that the drinks were largely being enjoyed by our lower order batsmen, most of whom were now in shorts and flip flops. Thinking this would be a formality, this assumption looked more fragile when Merry was out cheaply to a useful opening seam attack, from both sides of the wicket, and with a variety that kept our batsmen watchful. Henners, who has seen his fair share of Peckers collapses, wasn’t about to let this happen on his watch, and gently commented “Don’t overdo it lads”. This simple intervention brought home the reality that there was still a game to be played and won, and the beer wasn’t going anywhere. Moleman entered the fray in great form, following a ton in the previous game, and followed the same playbook he took out at Marlow, preserving his wicket and seeing off the openers and playing each delivery on merit. Although we were behind the rate when Moleman was caught off Pathak- he had got himself into a pickle. Spinach came in at no 4, being elevated like a rising soufflé up the order, and together with Muttley, we quickly came up to speed with the required rate. This was to accelerate when Henners came in after Muttley was dismissed, caught off Jenkins for a top score of 42, and we quickly moved ahead of the rate. Henners started to play his shots and It became clear that we would need to be bowled out, or to implode (much more likely), but we refused to acknowledge that we only required singles rather than the extravagant shots that continued to be attempted by a middle order that play the game to entertain first. Henners (41) formed a winning partnership with Johnny (24) before both fell to catches, and the Cat stepped out. of his litter to enduce a stumping off Ahmed.
Suddenly flip flops were being hurriedly exchanged for boots, and we still needed two runs when Snax joined Trash in the middle. We had Chef and Baroness still to come, but both had begged not to be needed. So Snax took it upon himself to end proceedings with a beautifully drilled straight drive to the boundary- “shot of the day” rang out around the ground…. (this correspondent is from the Winston Churchill school of scripture-“History will be kind to me, because i intend to write it 🧐”). Two wins in a row, and back on the right kind of roll..Team photos were taken, jugs ordered, and we reflected on an all round team performance, with no one getting a 50, and no one getting more than 2 wickets. Indeed one of our number managed no wickets(0-43 off 6) and no runs… but let’s not Traas his reputation, and let him remain incognito.